It Can Take Time

At 10 a.m. on February 15th, 1945, the sandstone support pillars that had been holding up the Frauenkirche in Dresden finally gave in. The stone glowed red hot from the incendiary bombing of the Allied Forces, eventually reaching over 1,830° Fahrenheit before exploding from the heat. The weight of the massive dome, called die Steinerne Glocke or "Stone Bell," crashed down, destroying the building that had stood for over 200 years.

Fifty years passed before renovation began. Each stone in the pile of rubble was tested for weakness and sorted out. Those that were still good were used in the reconstruction. New stones were also quarried from the same area as the originals. Eventually, in 2005, the reconstruction was complete.

When I was there in 2015, the difference between the new and old stones was obvious. Though some of the darkness is from the bombing, much of the old stone is black due to oxidation. Eventually, over the next hundred years, the new stone will slowly darken to match.

Damaged relationships can be the same way. Even when we put in the effort to rebuild them, taking old parts that still worked well and adding a new foundation, the relationship can seem off. We can see the difference between old and new, and it reminds us of how the relationship was before. We wonder if the disparate stones can ever be reconciled.

But the Frauenkirche shares a lesson of patience. It can take time for things to return to normal. It may even be years of awkwardness between the past and present. But with time and effort, if there are enough good stones, we can build something beautiful out of the rubble.